Went school specially today to meet up with Fabian's group to eat zi char after their class even though I don't have class.

Guess what, I saw Kimberly chia sitting outside their class! Omg she look pretty in real life

Their class was so big! Compared to mine zzz. Guess I have to live with that until next year

Zi char at that south Buona vista was so god damn nice. Everything was just so nice, the kang kong, ma pian pai gu, and that chicken wing... Wah so crispy and nice can. Everyone of us was like eating so fast, at the end of it everything was cleared, not even a drop on food left on the table

Planning to get my chino pants after food, but then someone suggested to go play mahjong after this... So i canceled my plan to go get pants

Mahjong more important

Hahahaa

Went Fabian house

Played 2 rounds only though, since they had to leave after 6.

So long never touch already, it's been like almost a year. I didn't touch it at all during Chinese New Year. And the Chinese New Year before this.

I even forgot about the scoring system. I knew it like the back of my mind last time. But somehow everything was just lost.

Guess we have to practice things constantly even though we felt we might be 'good' already. Humans are just a memory footprint. The things we touch on must be constantly done to get it into our head and make sure we don't get rusty

Anyway, lost the mahjong. Had to pay 6 dollar. But it's fun, at least for me

Then went back home, touched my guitar and tried to learn that we are never ever getting back together by tailor swift. Really catchy song. Managed to play, but I guess the plucking part I have to work on it some more to get it even more smoothly

Weekend gonna meet with Doreen they all to study. See how it goes again. Cannot study at all now, not in the mood haha

Been sleeping real early these few days. So unlike me omg.

If I wake up early next morning, I think I will go run. Since my ippt window has opened. 200 dollars please wait for me thanks. I will go grab you

New day

Don't know why yesterday was so angry out of sudden

向前看

高兴就好

Crystal said correctly

Why change yourself for somebody that's not worth it

Should have looked out for those bad signs a long time ago already

But I really meant not everything wasn't my fault. Didn't manage to respond properly. But was waiting for answer after I 'done' my part

Kk seriously moving on. This will be my last post on this. I'm going to stop stalking people's page from now on. And whatsapp time stamp. 他们要做什么事是他们的事. Relying on whether she is going to even bother telling me when they going to start. If she doesn't say, I mean come on, don't even bother even being friends. Something is really wrong with the character. If she says, then at least there's still some 'humanity'

Going to get that chino pants soon

Sadly voucher was fully redeemed at that time

Rofl

But getting it soon

Going to slack the rest of the week away. Before studying. Else I will go crazy

Met up with Alicia yesterday. It's been some months since I met her. For my belated birthday present she got me a Starbucks tumbler! Sho nice. Really like the tumbler cause its one of my favourite color

Her whole family isn't active in church already. Except her mum

Nothing much to post. Catching updates soon. Zao. When is my next ice skating session coming!?!! Haha

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMhi2MPuaM

Thought this song was really catchy been listening to it

Going to learn the guitar soon

越想越生气

At first thought was my fault

Then keep thinking

I mean looking at the small details

Things just doesn't make sense at all

Getting more and more angry

It's not like I never ask whether want to come and print together or not

Said no. Lazy

And then went off to skip class together

I even qued for that god damn printer for 2 days straight. 8 hours in total

At the end say nothing going on

First time ever bought coffee for me. After game over. Thrown it away.

Wanted to sit down and talk properly about where is this going because its been dragging too long, it's either we move on or together. Even told about it a few days ago

And off to let me see this incident before that happens

I asked him where are you going

Do stunt and told me say going home

Go home? Like seriously?

Even that lying face can tell already

I suppose if I didn't spot won't even let me know about it

Was like so angry and pissed off the whole class and school. Don't even know why I even bothered to print at the end of the day

Will never ever wait for someone. Especially with no credibility.

Should have noticed the look a few months ago in class already. Thought something was going on. But didn't ask

But not everything isn't my fault also.

I don't trust cause there's no real communication between both of us.

Miscommunication

Acknowledging that

Moving on

Bright color shirts and change of hair

Fark up smiling face at Aston and still say planning to reject. Seeing how it goes. Holding on to the last credibility of her mouth.

Nothing to say already

Money and Car is everything.

Yet another typical sg girl proving guys wrong

Fark this shit

insensitive people are the worst

HIHI!!!!

hahaha

so fun! to model after my own kitchen

took me roughly 2-2.5 days to do it

without SLEEPING

at all

didnt sleep at all for like 48 hours or more

omg can you believe it!?

but it was great to model after my own kitchen

feels like a sense of accomplishment

during all that i painstakingly took out my iphone camera, trying to shoot my own floor tiles, wall tiles etc...

trying to align it properly accordingly to a square dimension

to texture my walls

a lot of trial and error

but hey i thought the result came out great for me

i could do a lot more though, didn't manage to model my refrigerator.... kitchen sink, windows and all that due to time constraint

first time i did work so passionately about

thinking back, i like to watch people play games, new games trailers that comes out, no matter what unheard games, i would go and take a look

think maybe that's why this time i really pour out everything and do

starting to believe changing course was a really good decision-making in my life that i did

despite having some wrong intention why i changed to it in the first place

next semester we should be using lightwave, think in the meantime for march holidays i will go and borrow the book and learn it

THE dreaded - february is coming to an end soon...

march has so many things going on!. starcraft 2's heart of the swarm release, crystal and jiwah going taiwan... ok nothing to do with me lol. don't know why i mention this

intending to catch up with old people, like that ping chie, sophina, alicia, ronald.

That disney's ice skating during march also, maybe going down to take a look cause i thought roller blading and ice skating was really fun for me recently. going to have a new hobby soon i guess.

think i got to gym and eat properly. noticing my body is getting a lot smaller due to neglect-ance

can tell my sister is depressed lately. keep complaining about she reach the stage where she just can't be bothered to learn anything new. just waiting to die only, life is boring etc...

the truth is ....

i also thought i'm reaching that stage soon a few months ago also. i keep thinking why life is so boring, and at this age i'm at, i think i didn't really accomplish anything in life. seeing other people at my age is already working and so on. getting to be with people they like ... i'm starting to get really depressed too.

think it's already improving little bit by bit! currently changing my mindset of the way i'm approaching things, trying to make people around me happy by acting stupid once again. feel it's really a joy to make people laugh again, thought i was quite a joker by heart, but it's missing from me these past few months. good to have it back little by little~

ok... back to the boring work i have to rush soon... yawnz. 4 of it! omg

anyway!

cny was boring, the typical routes, my father's side grandma followed by mother's side grandma

BORING

except that 2nd sis didn't want to go and ba nian

so i drove instead

i like my father's side grandma food! not sure why, first time when reach there, i can sit down at the dining table for very long and just EAT

then on to mother's side

not much people there, i think half the time i went downstair's to walk around

ok skip the boring details, cause i think it was too boring lol

no more activities for the night, soooo

i went with my big sister to mbs room and casino

first time stepped into the casino

she sponsored me to go in and see

quite a big opener! although this is not my first time in a casino, i think the last time i went was the gentings one

watched my big sister's husband play, think he won 4k the whole evening

when at the table, and you see people fork out 1000 note, and not only 1, but like 10 plus 1000notes, to exchange for chips, you really wonder why singapore people are so rich

the croupier at the table said this is just the norm, said that there was this time when he worked upstairs, and somebody took out a letter, and the letter contains 50 plus 1000notes, to change for chips

i was like :/

makes you really wonder how did all this money came from

anyway, free food and drinks inside! you can even call the waiter and waitress to make food and drinks for you, and they will deliver it personally to you

but it's only for ruby's level onwards, which i did get in because of my sister privelage to admit one guest per day

quite an eye opener!

anyway, after casino i drove back alone back to home

not sure why, when i reached home, i didn't stop, but i drove down a bit more, and then there i was, in front of the doorstep

i know where exactly it was

like in the middle of the night? 5am

don't know why i did that

drove back home, and off to sleep

been sms-ing people lately, trying to expand my circle

think there's not much of a thought already

okok bye

i just don't know what direction this blog can take

do i want it to be something i think others want to hear?

do i want it to be something i really think and heart felt?

do i want it to be something that i really think and felt but i can't really directly say it here?

help me

the more i think the more it does not make sense to me

it just doesn't adds up

told to dress more nicely

check

seen it together, wreck-it-ralph, ah boys to men 2

check

makes no sense answers

check

if i didn't even see and catch, i guess i would not even be told about it

check

takes some time later on, probably wondering what to explain and immediately send photo

check

how to trust people like that?

the reasoning is totally off. don't know why

i probably should drive to school everyday, see how's the reaction on that face

now i know why there's a saying that typical sg girls loves money

guess it's quite good in a way i can avoid and regret even more if things develop more later on

i just hope i can expect things a bit more forward, and not out of a sudden.

i would break down totally if it's suddenly

waiting for well wish

if there's not even a single attempt, can know it's totally gone already, not even a normal friend

Ok I lied.

I think I want to celebrate my birthday later on

Maybe I could go walk alone or something

Or just randomly go into shops and keep eating whatever I feel like

See no evil hear no evil.

I think I might take the car today to go for random rides to stop myself from thinking

The things I do

The things I touch can never be good at all

I'm such a failure

Emo-Ing day begins

Haha

No idea why keep thinking

Having some random suicidal thoughts. Don't know what I'm living for

Lieing on the bed but can't sleep at all despite rolling about for the past hour already...

Can't believe 3 more days and its chinese new year already!

Don't really look forward to it this year

Maybe except the money part haha

But why don't look forward is because can predict they will ask the same question again

Got think before to avoid this, should I magically disappear on day 1?

Not sure where to go though haha, maybe can find a ulu corner sleep, something like those kind of people sleep on the street

Then get catch by police or something haha

2nd sister of mine is already planning not to bai Nian already. Says she want to sleep at home. Say I have no choice, cause I'm the youngest. Must go

Don't know what kind of logic is that

-_-

I think I'm doing pretty well now. Think keeping a distance and having some new people to talk and chat with really helps. It really changes your perspective on things. At least now, with a new mindset, I'm really not bothered with it. Even if it happens. I think I won't be really affected by it already.

Can sense i'm getting back the original way I should act in the past

Haven't buy new year clothes at all! Went with the "we love tian nose hair" group of us to shop just now. Didn't manage to buy any stuffs at all. Gonna go Tml again after school.

Was eating hokkien mee at Clementi just now. Then random conversation with them, and suddenly I missed bukit batok's hokkien mee and wu Xiang. I think the next outing should be bringing them there to eat.

So many awesome/planned places in my head to go. But it's just ke xi won't be able to join me at all

Next up!!! Chinese New Year!
Meh~~~
Next up!!! Vday!
Meh~~~ next
Next up!!! My birthday!
Yawnzzz~~~

Happening 3 things in a row. Which all 3 I don't look forward to it at all. Talking about combo hit haha

Oh yeah they asked me directly what I want for my birthday today. Hahah. That time for kw birthday I directly ask what she wants. Then now it's happening to me. Karma hahaha. What goes around comes around. Never fails to be really true.

Bye

I want to watch that Stephen Chow movie!

Oh ya wondering who was the one who post that on that facebook sim confession page

"To the girl who is in 322 and 336 this sem,My heart finally skipped a bit after I say hi, many more to come"

Hahaha. So few people in our class. Think it's quite easy to spot.

I absolutely hate the kind of people who ask others to change when they themselves don't want to change at all.

Don't know why did I change myself for something that's not worth it at all.

It's really dumb come to think of it

Kind of losing faith at people bit by bit steadily everyday

It's just so disappointing.

Miss the days when everything is just so simple

*The day I quit is the day I'm dead,
So please stop telling me what to do!

**Should I take a break for 1 semester? I'm considering it already

I must open my golden mouth tomorrow!

Just speak something! Anything~

Life is pretty... Boring

Actually if can I would still prefer if I didn't 'evolve' at all

Makes me even more boring