words from the heart

Seriously speaking talk to you v tiring.  Don't know what you want.  But never mind.  I'm going to try again and again. Really v tired already. Many times I tell myself to give up. But many times I also tell myself I cannot give up.  If you could give me some initiation that your interested. Even ask me some simple words like how are you doing. I would be v happy already. But no. U haven't.  And I could tell your not a really caring person. Only think for yourself. Things your interested in then ok. Things your not then no. No extra mileage for the other people.  Cannot imagine next time what would happen if I'm in a crisis. Would u run away. I'm typing all these to vent out. Please prove me wrong what I'm thinking so far.

That time in reservist had to change back to my old iphone. And then came across the conversation we had last time. I really miss it. Went back to see the photos we took together. I told myself at that point of time I really need to try again. But no. It's like "oh" "interesting" "i see" "ok" .  Average two three words at most. The whole holiday I didn't manage to ask you out at all. I don't know why at all. Are you really that busy or just not interested at all. I cannot help myself but to overthink things. Even the timestamps of both of u I keep stalking. I know it's like hours of conversation u both had. Really want to know what are you guys chatting about seriously.  It's the 7 month already. 5 more and we are on our seperate ways.  Damn fast.

I'm going to try again

Seriously please do not message each other in class secretly. Don't know why both of you cannot talk in class openly but message each other like so secretive like that. Last time fetch to choa chu kang. Now fetch straight to your doorstep. Even a normal person would overthink at this stage already. So tell me how not to overthink. Frankly speaking I am still in the stage where I could not trust you at all. Don't know is it because of me, or you. Or just that there's no channel of real communication at all. Seriously just show some interest in the things I write. Ask you come sch together no. Ok fine. In sch also have to act don't know each other in year 2. Improvements now already. Still remember that day where you avoid me like a plague on that day when I attempt to go home together.   The god damn hand phone screen is the only time and place I could only communicate with u. So please do me a favor and just show some real interest on the god damn screen

don't know why I change course because of you that time. Really regret it. Or maybe I'm just plain stupid.

I'm going try again. Keeping my fingers crossed and I really hope to see some improvements. But I seriously doubt it

Prove me wrong please. Show some interest

Or just simply end my suffering. By telling straight in my face not interested at all. Or both of you get together.

Would be really happy on both. Not in the middle. Ultimate sian.

Seriously doubt u would even remember this blog link. But if your reading this. Then this is really what I think